Three Hundred (and Twenty)

For the most part, the nature breaks on this ride were civilized, and happened at gas stops with proper toilets, toilet paper and locking doors. This is not always the case. On long rides we are often forced to pull over in the middle of nowhere when nature calls. At these moments I am reminded I am the only woman in the group. While the boys merely dismount, lean against their bikes and let fly, I am forced to go foraging in the sparse prairie bush for a semi-private spot to pee. Sometimes in order to be hidden from the other riders in the group I am totally exposed to traffic. I am getting particularly cranky about peeing au natural after a week spent watering cacti in Arizona, as well as contracting a nasty case of poison ivy a few weeks ago north of Winnipeg. It’s amazing how luxurious a truck stop bathroom with a plugged toilet can be, given the alternatives.

After breakfast we hummed along for another 50 kilometers to Lac du Bonnet, a stop I don’t even remember to tell you the truth. We were in the groove now, maintaining good pace and still well within our comfort zones. I have been asked about the scenery and wildlife on these rides, but for the most part all I see is wheel. I rode behind Andrei for a good part of this stretch, and was greatly admiring his white Continental 4000 tires. It had rained so much that they were perfectly white, the road having been washed clean of any real dirt and oil. On stretches like this I keep occupied with silly things, like trying to maintain perfectly synchronized cadence with the rider in front of me. I realize I am a bit of a masher (someone who tends to pedal more slowly, in a heavier gear) and need to work on my technique to spin faster and smoother, to expend less energy and keep my legs fresh. I concentrate on standing for 10-15 pedal strokes every 10 minutes or so, because my ass will thank me for it later. I make sure to take some water every alternating 10 minutes to keep hydrated, which seems ridiculous in this constant rain that soaks us. Next thing I know there is an ABBA song running through my head over and over. It all helps pass the time in our less social, but necessary single pace line.

Next stop, another 50km to Powerview, just shy of Pine Falls which brought us roughly to the 200 km mark. We were far from home, but feeling good. Good enough to have a beer with lunch, in fact. My feet were wet and my legs (and other parts) were getting tired, and I don’t think I have ever tasted anything as good as that salty beef and rice soup and nice cold Sleemans. Hey if Lance can pound back girly beer like Amstel Light during the Tour de France, I can sure as hell sip a Sleemans with lunch.

Maybe it was the beer, but I felt great over the next 75 km to Beausejour. A bit of a meandering road until we hit the #12 highway, which Ben had warned was straight and boring. Lucky for us the road had been resurfaced recently and we had a bit of a tail wind, so we positively sailed through that stretch. I had another embarrassing chick moment when a big brown dog came running and barking out of a yard, catching me totally off guard. I screamed (out loud, not just in my head like I wished I had). The dog stopped and loped back to it’s yard having done it’s dogly duty. Nobody said a word, we just kept pedaling. Stupid dog.

We were held up in Beausejour for a bit as the heavens opened and it poured rain. The rest was nice and we shared coffee and snacks in the local gas station. Once the rain stopped we hopped back on our bikes for our final 50km back to the finish. This is where things got a little ugly. Along the 44 highway to Lockport, there was a bit of wind and no shoulder, so the draft was minimal at best. There was a lot of traffic and it had started to rain. There is something that happens to Michael when the conditions get bad. He starts to go very, very fast. He has explained this is something he does on purpose to “get that part over with”. The thing is, Michael is a machine, and can do that even after 280-odd kms. The wheels fell off the bus for me along this stretch as I struggled to keep up, to try to stay out of the wind. But there was nothing left, and no relief. As I was getting dropped, Chris and I yelled at the same time”Michael!! Slow down!!!” but they were too far ahead. Eventually they stopped and as we rode by Michael, Andrei and Ben, Michael offered me my rain jacket, a nice gesture, maybe to say sorry for going so fast. But at that point I was already soaked to the bone and afraid that if I stopped I wouldn’t get going again, so I declined and blasted by at all of 22 km/h. I limped into Lockport and we stopped briefly at Skinners, where I plopped myself on the dirty ground to stretch what was left of my legs. I was horrified to run into a business associate, who came up to say hello. I was wet, dirty, dressed in spandex and likely smelled of sweat and beer, possibly pee. My face was covered with dirt, and I had snot on my shoulder. I think we had some semblance of a normal conversation but really can’t be sure.

The last 20kms down Henderson Highway was hard, but I knew we were almost home. At one point I started to feel very lightheaded, and frantically stuffed a Clif Bar in my mouth, thinking how much it would suck to pass out or puke in the last 10km of the ride. This is technically referred to as bonking. It’s the point at which your body tells you to go straight to hell.

Sound like fun? Well it was, and tons of it. I am often asked why I choose to do this. The answers sometimes change, depending on the day, but for the most part they are simple. I do this because it’s hard, and because it hurts. And in spite of that, above all of that, it is fun. I love to ride my bike, and I love to be around people who feel the same way I do. I love the challenge and the incredible feeling of accomplishment I get when I do something I know not everyone can do. What’s next? A 400? Not bloody likely. But that’s what I said about the 300.