Lovely Bicycle Things
Having a friend with an unnatural obsession can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, you have to listen to them drone on incessantly about whatever they are obsessed about – whether it be cycling, Star Trek, or (God forbid) cats. On the other hand, when it comes to Christmas and birthdays, obsessed people are super easy to buy stuff for. As long as it has a (insert object of obsession) on it, you are golden.
Case and point – this Christmas I was all a-jingle with some nifty gifts found by my thoughtful and clever friends and family. Like this sweet little bike made out of old tin cans (of whup ass?) that my friends Paul and Shirley gave me. I love the little brake levers, and the pedals actually turn! It’s only about three inches tall, which is a shame, because I would totally ride this bike. Even if it is pink.
This next gift really got me excited because it combines my two favourite hobbies: cycling and drinking.How sweet is that? The wine in the background is pretty special too – a new South African wine that Paul and Shirley (Blend Imports) are importing that in addition to having some of the nicest labels I’ve seen (you know by now I am a card carrying label whore), is quite lovely to drink. If you’re not lucky enough to get some for free like I did, you can buy it at Banville & Jones.What lovely jerseys these would make!
The morning after drinking two bottles of wine, you need to drink water. LOTS and LOTS of water. And what better vessel to contain said water than these lovely glasses with bikes in all manner of pretty colours?Let me tell you, after four or five glasses of water, a couple of Advil, and a shot of Jagermeister, you’ll be as good as new. I felt so good in fact, that I spent the rest of the day baking my world-famous gingerbread. Ok, it may not be world-famous, but I haven’t heard of anyone having to have their stomach pumped yet. In my pre-bike life, I made gingerbread Santas, Christmas trees, snowflakes and stars. Now I make these:I am a little (ok a lot) anal retentive about my gingerbread, but this year I decided I needed to let go a little, and invited my neices and nephew over to have a little decorating party. My hands were sweating as I watched their unorthodox, Jackson Pollock-y style of decorating, but I have to admit it was a total blast and the resulting cookies were nothing short of spectacular.I liked my nephew Sam’s creative gumdrop boobs almost as much as I liked my sister’s reaction when she saw them.
It wouldn’t be Christmas if you didn’t buy yourself a present. I am, after all, my second or third favourite person in the whole, wide world – so this year I treated myself to something I was far too embarrassed to ask for from someone else: The Full Package – The 2013 Minneapolis Bike Messenger Association calendar, produced by One on One Bicycle Studio.That’s right ladies. Who needs Fifty Shades of Grey when you can have twelve months of hot-yet-ironic bike messenger ass. It’s the gift that really delivers. Get yours here.
Now that the holidays are over, it’s back to business as usual, with lots of top secret (and some not-so-secret) projects in the hopper. And yes, they might have something to do with bikes.