For Sale: One Fairy Princess Sparkle Bike


My friend Brian has a beautiful bike. I covet his bike and he knows it. It’s a Bianchi, and I love everything about it. It is totally old school and Italian – made by the oldest bike making company in existence. The bike has pedigree. Fausto Coppi rode a Bianchi.

I love saying the name “Beeeyaaahnkeee”… I love the colour too. Trademark Bianchi green, called celeste (pronounced che-les-te in Italian) is close to a Tiffany’s blue, but more turquoise. There are theories about the origins of the colour that range from it being the eye colour of a former Italian queen, to being a haphazard mixture of surplus military paint. Regardless, the colour is unmistakable and makes my heart flutter.

I overheard my friend Jason talking to Brian the other day about buying this beloved bike for one of his sons who has recently started racing. I wish my Dad would buy me this Bianchi. Or any Bianchi for that matter. I was positively celeste with envy.

But…

On Tuesday Brian showed up at our morning ride, throughout which I failed to notice that he had covered his entire bike frame with sparkly pink hearts, flowers and butterfly stickers. None other than Tinkerbell herself was stuck proudly on the top tube. It looked like his bike had been attacked… no, violated by a mob of sadistic five-year-old girls. Behold:

The horror. Brian, being aware of my allergy to all things pink and girly when it comes to bikes, had decided to test my love for his Bianchi in a most novel and creative manner. Needless to say, when the perversion was pointed out to me I was positively horrified, much to the amusement to my fellow riders as they sipped their post-ride Starbucks.

As for Brian, he was tickled, well… pink.