Day 2 – Disasterville, Arizona
Our replacement house is way at the other end of the city than the one that was allegedly sold the day before we arrived. I find all of this highly suspect and would jump at the chance to tear the smarmy rental guy a new one. Plans had been made, and now a bunch of things that had been thought out have to be re-thought.
On the bright side, we take the opportunity of a morning to kill to do some shopping – first at Sabino Cycle – the bike shop that just happens to be in the mall right next to our hotel. We check out everything from compression socks to inner tubes.And of course the hoo ha cream.
Next we make our way to a Whole Foods, an organic market franchise obviously making some clever hippies somewhere very rich. Everything in Whole Foods is free of badness of any sort including chemicals, sugar, salt, or gluten. Ironically, the more things a product is free of, the more it seems to cost. Who says you can’t put a price on moral superiority? By the time our cart is full, I am somewhere between Mother Theresa and Yoko Ono.Once the vagina Jeep is full of expensive hippy groceries we finally make our way to the new address we hope actually exists. It does, and it is a grand and sprawling villa with a maze-like layout. There are 5 bedrooms of varying size and 2 less bathrooms than the original house we booked. And there is no wii fii. In spite of the fact 5 years ago wii fii didn’t even exist, this is a big problem – a first world problem, sure – but a problem nonetheless. A problem I will most certainly stew in my own juices over in the hot tub with a nice chilled glass of chardonnay.The bike assembly starts in earnest. I have been dreading this moment, hoping my fastidious note taking and photo documenting will help me put together my dismembered bicycle in such a way that it doesn’t fall to pieces the minute I try to ride it.
I try my best to follow the instructions, but get derailed almost immediately by the derailleur. Within seconds I am covered with grease and close to tears. Ben jumps to the rescue and eventually the deraillieur is beaten into submission and the rest of the bike is assembled without incident.Finally we are ready to ride.But there are mechanical issues. Lots and lots of mechanical issues.
But like everyone knows, even a bad day on a bike is better than a good day pretty much anywhere else.We only managed a 33km ride in about as many hours, which was followed by a wonderful organic free range gluten free meal made with wholesome ingredients that were cruel to nothing but our wallets.