A SMASHing Good Time

For some reason, Halloween and cyclocross racing just seem to go together – like peanut butter and pickles, or Liza Minelli and David Guest. Strange bedfellows, but it just works. Being sick these last three weeks gave me plenty of time to plan my costume for Halloween at the Camp, which I was determined to race regardless of how much mucus was coming out of my head. I figured since it was Halloween I could get away with calling it ectoplasm.

I decided I wanted to have a cycling themed costume, and figured Thor Hushovd would make the best viking EVER. So I added some sparkly wings to my helmet, made some faux fur accessories and bought a gladiator skirt.

But in order to make sure everyone knew I was Thor, and not just some run of the mill ordinary viking, I needed to add the World Champion stripes and one last touch to seal the deal.

And viola!! I AM THOR(SMASH)!!!

Given recent news, I made sure to check with the Commissaire that my costume was above board and would not have anyone confusing me with the REAL World Champion. I was pretty sure my skirt was not compliant, and I know the UCI can be persnickety about these things. Technically only the World Champion is allowed to wear the rainbow stripes, but Colin assured me that although my prowess on a bike makes me almost indistinguishable from the current Word Champ, I am much taller so he would let it slide. Thanks Colin!

I recently read that cyclocross is like a mullet – all business at the front, and party at the back. And party we did as I enjoyed a beer hand up with Lyle a.k.a. The Giant who was dressed up as his little brother Paul Bunyan, complete with Bell the Bull.

Before the race started, he was able to fell an enormous tree, which handily served as one of the barricades.

The pumpkin barricades were fun as well.

The wooden allie-oops, up-and-overs, whoop-de-doos, or whatever you wanted to call them were a bit of a problem for me in the warm up. As in I couldn’t do them. The fear of being ridiculed by spectators seemed to give me the focus I needed to successfully navigate them during the race.

Brrrr! But of course, the best part of the race was all the wicked costumes. I particularly enjoyed this one:

Please feel free to wear that to all the races. Pretty please.

Big Dave played homage to the free-spirited Red River Club by letting all the hair on his body grow out. He was last spotted looking for his Birkenstocks after the race.

Tomek dressed up as Big Dave dressing up as Tomek.

Sarah was a red rocket, complete with a hidden turbo engine cleverly hidden somewhere inside that tight little outfit…

The Dark Lord explored his inner Alice Cooper to startlingly great effect. I suspect that what he looks like the other 364 days of the year is the true disguise.

Johnny G.’s interpretation of Richard Simmons was spot on – especially when he led the A racers in perky set of pre-race aerobics.

Oh, and I can’t not mention KK and his fabulous slutty zombie nurse outfit.

Although there was a terrible moment when I thought he might be dressed up as me.

I’m not sure exactly what JP was, but it was pretty funny nonetheless.Everyone seemed to embrace the spirit of the day. The spectators heckled enthusiastically as costumed racers whizzed by followed by a cloud of feathers, glitter, wings, sweat and beer.

Like the course, which was probably the most technical (and fun) one I’ve done so far, the day had a bit of everything. There was a very cold hot redhead,

A hot dog,

A monster bike,

some Frankencowbells with brake lever handles,

and a nice smoky hot fire.

Stefan’s flash wasn’t working. He was quite unhappy about that.

But really, he’s always smiling. For that picture I asked him to give me his best “thug” look. This is how he usually looks:

It was a cold day, a technical course, and I’m still not feeling 100%. But none of that mattered because a Halloween bike race is just about as close to heaven as you can get.

Thanks to the Red River Bike Club, volunteers, officials and spectators. And most of all to all you kooky racers who made for an absolutely smashing afternoon.