We are Live – But Just Barely

After an agonizing week of radio silence, the Cable Guy cometh and fixed the bloody TV – and bloody it is, with more carnage in the Tour this year than a John Woo movie. Unfortunately the Cable Guy cometh just in time for…. a rest day.

Thanks to the Interwebs, I have been able to keep up with the Tour de Crash via a crappy live feed, which is both crappy and live. The trouble with crappy is (I hope) self-evident, and the trouble with live is that the end of the race generally happens about 10am, at which time every client I have calls me with a catastrophic design emergency.

What would I do without Bike Snob and Schmalz? – two smartass New Yorkers who post witty and insightful recaps of each stage which I both read at my leisure and lament that I didn’t write myself. Nevertheless, as witty and insightful as the reports are, they are full of those tedious “word” thingies and have very few pictures. Personally, I find “words” a poor and time-consuming substitute for pictures, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and offer…

The Cycle Chick Visual Synopsis of The 2011 Tour de France So Far:

1. Thor did some Smashing.

2. Everybody else did lots of crashing.

3. Contador has crashed about four hundred times. Obviously needs more protein. Or training wheels.

5. Cars and spectators are getting in the way.

6. Frank and Andy are staying out of trouble, but have stayed mostly invisible for now. Wait until the mountains…

7. My boyfriend is doing great.

Back to racing today, this time live and in technicolor at 6pm on TSN2. Sweet!

S0 unless you are:
a) Mark Cavendish and/or
b) caught on a barbed wire fence
– no phone calls please.