Bike Shop: Part Deux

Today at the Bike Shop:

CycleChick: (carrying bike wheel) Hi there. My wheel has been making an awful noise lately. I think it might have something to do with the bearings? (insert higher tone at end of sentence to imply question)

Bike Shop Asshole: It’s probably not the wheel.

CC: Um, ok… the noise continues even when I stop pedaling.

BSA: Could be anything. (grabbing wheel, spinning hub). Nothing wrong with this wheel. The hub is perfect.

CC: Really? That’s strange… could it be…

BSA: (bouncing wheel roughly on the ground) This wheel is fine. Probably something else. You should bring the whole bike in so we can look at it, ride it around, do some brake stands.

CC: Erm, ok. Are you sure? When I put a different wheel on, the noise stopped.

BSA: Are you sure it was a different wheel, and not, say, a new shade of lipstick?

CC: Yes, pretty sure it was a different wheel.

BSA: Right. Then I think you should definitely take the basket and bell off the bike and bring it down here so I can pretend to look it over while I chat with some real cyclists then tell you you need a whole new set of wheels that you could get at Canadian Tire for half the price.

CC: But it’s my only bike, and can’t really be without it for…

BSA: We’ll need three weeks at least. If we forget, it will be more. Surely you can do something else in the meantime, like maybe scrapbooking?

CC: Ok, thanks. I’ll be sure to bring it in. And while I’m here maybe I’ll pick up one of those cute pink jerseys with the butterflies on them.