I am SO Pumped!

Since I am waiting for my friend to fork over illusive video footage of me getting my ass kicked in this week’s crit, I am instead forced to write about my favorite birthday present*. A Filzer Zephyr Pro Team Floor Pump, courtesy of my brother Alan, who was told (by yours truly) that what I really and truly wanted for my birthday was a really good floor pump. Hey, he asked. And in fact he sent his girlfriend Joanne to buy it, who hopefully got one of the nice bike shop guys and not one of the condescending asshole bike shop guys.
*I must add a disclaimer here since other generous birthday present givers are reading this. I say favorite in the Cycle Chick sense. I received some awesome other Birthday Chick gifts as well.

My old bike pump stopped working about a month and a half ago. The pump itself works, but the gauge needle is stuck flaccidly at zero. Since then I have been merely guessing at my tire pressure, which I figure has been somewhere between 80 and 250, or in other words somewhere between noticeably flat and ready to explode. One day I saw a bike shop guy (you guess which type) inspecting a woman’s bike tire with the old finger-squeeze method. He told the woman “yah, that’s at 70 psi”. Really? Not 72? or 75? If I had skills like that I wouldn’t need the Filzer Zephyr Pro Team Floor Pump.

The Filz (my pet name for it) was very nice even at first flush. Looked respectable, with a classy wooden handle, and felt substantial in my hand. A perfectly princely pump. Another nice feature was the top mounted gauge that allowed me to see the needle clearly even at my advanced age, as was pointed out by my recently deceased younger brother. The “Clever Head” fits both Presta and Schrader valves and has a pressure release button that feels just a little bit naughty when you press it. I believe “Clever Head” is a made up name by the folks at Filzer, who are clearly better at making pumps than coming up with trade names.

Despite all of the aforementioned design niceties, I was not expecting the rush of pleasure that I experienced when I used the pump for the first time. Smooth as silk, effortless pumping action that brought instant, um, …satisfaction. This is a damn fine pump, especially for the ladies who might not have the brute strength (or patience) it takes to bring a tire to full pressure with a lesser machine. Compared to my old Canadian Tire floor pump, this one is indeed The Shit.

If my brother were still living, I would thank him very much for it.