Does this World Champion jersey make me look fat?
Yesterday, after his win at Kuurne-Brussel-Kuurne, World Champion Mark Cavendish was asked by a Sporza reporter if he needed to lose a few pounds – an odd question since he had just WON the race. No wonder he didn’t want to wear the white shorts. Considering Mr. The Missile is oft criticized for his weight, much discussion in the Twitterverse ensued – some (including your truly) taking some exception to the question. In a normal context, such a question is unthinkable – perhaps even punch-worthy. But on further reflection, in the context of professional cycling, I believe the question was squarely North of the belt.
I dug around in the CycleChick archives and dusted off this old post about the subject of weight in professional cycling. With some nipping and tucking, I figured it was worth another look.
Originally posted on July 12, 2010
During the Tour de France my friends and I are as unbearable as Star Trek fans during Comic-Con. The other day after a race my fellow Spandexians and I were in full-on TdF geek-out. The topic of this particular conversation wasn’t about climb categories, gear ratios or points… it was about weight. It started when someone mentioned seeing an image of Luxembourgish (it’s a word, I checked) brothers Frank and Andy Schleck, and how shocked he was to see how skinny they were. They are some skinny dudes alright. See, they even make the Podium Chicks look fat.
Pro cyclists tend to have very slight builds, like gymnasts, or runway models, and I always figured they must be just as prone to the eating disorders that keep them that way. The reality is that pro cyclists are skinny guys who eat like fat guys, but rather than throwing up, they burn enormous quantities of calories riding their bikes.
Of course this phenomenon has nothing to do with aesthetics and everything to do with performance. In Daniel Coyle’s book, Lance Armstong’s War, he explains “the obsession is bent toward strategic purpose, because fat is not fat, nor is an ass merely an ass – it is time. It’s a simple idea: the more your weigh, the slower you go.” Coyle goes on to explain the peculiar ritual the riders have at the start of the race season of sizing each other up with probing looks, “accidental” belly pinches and – my personal favorite – the “ass check”. Apparently, when a rider is in top form, his ass is small and vaguely feminine, like a teenage gymnast. If you know the rider, and know the ass, you know that rider’s potential.
Some of the pros – like the aforementioned skeletal Schlecks and Bradley “Twiggo” Wiggins – are very thin even by pro standards and suffer the opposite side of the sword that slices poor Cav into fatty ribbons. In an interview Frank admits they “don’t look pretty”. And it’s true – they are almost paper thin. But it goes to show the enormous importance of weight in the complex equation that determines the optimal performance of a cyclist at the highest level of the sport.
But they aren’t all built like 12 year old girls – take George Hincappie for instance – a workhorse rider who is considered a bit of a clydesdale, yet has kicked more than his fair share of skinny ass. He’s 6’2″ and 182 lbs. and probably has poops that weigh more than Alberto Contador. I still find it amazing when someone like Brit sprinter Mark Cavendish is criticized for being somewhat rotund. At a whopping 5’7″ and 154 lbs, I hardly think he’s the sort that should waltz into his local pub and call some big rugby player a pussy.
I am 5’10 and about 140 lbs. on a good day. For a woman, I fit squarely in the clydesdale category and will never be much of a climber, or a sprinter for that matter. I also enjoy my food way too much to ever be thin enough to be very fast. (But call me fat, and make no mistake, I will punch you.) I ride an aluminum bike and have no idea how much it weighs, and I kind of like it that way. I’ll leave the obsessing about weight to the pros and the supermodels.
Note: Since the original post was written, I invested a small fortune on a carbon bike that weight precisely 15.7 pounds without water bottles or pedals. But I still enjoy my cake and eat it too.
I have also often thought the descriptions of pro riders physiques and weights to be pretty ridiculous. I once heard either Phil or Paul use this phrase in a sentence; “…Hincapie drags his hulking carcass up the mountain…” Oh my. Being such a troll must be so difficult for George.
But here is something that I think may be even sillier. Your own gram to inch ratio is definitely on the low side of the western world’s human spectrum, regardless of gender. Same with my ratio. Assuming you tell the truth about your weight (congratulations, I don’t know too many women willing to post that on the interweb) you are actually about 3/4″ taller than me and about 5 pounds lighter. Using a non gender specific “scale of nonsense” to describe our bodies, I would be the one considered the troll. And yet, when using the gender specific version of the “scale of nonsense” you consider yourself a Clydesdale and I consider myself a Fragile Waif (Brad – not my new nick name).
Maybe our only accurate qualitative description should be taken from the Secretary’s book of wisdom – “We are exactly what we are”.
oops, sorry Darryl, I botched it
All fixed. : )
So kind. I was fearing punitive action.
Yeesh … “clydesdale category”!? … enjoy eating your cake!
IMHO, life is too short to focus on every gram (on your bike or body) and besides, apparently society’s programming has lead you to think that you fir into ‘this’ category(?). Hmm , gender specific or not, this “scale of nonsence” is exactly that and missplaced on the ‘scale of reality’ … racing or not!
For the record, I am 6’3″ and weigh 220 lbs (when not sneaking KFC sustenance in the winter – a bit heavier just now), so I am definitely in the heavier cyclist category. However, I do a variety of fitness activities, weight training included and can do a variety of sports fairly well. I also don’t need a ‘domestique’ to bring me supplies to make it through any really Epic event. I realize the post was about the “Manx Missile”, but I think the ‘Scale of Reality’ should rule. IMHO
I’ve read that Hincapie races the TdF at 158 lbs, but just found his site that lists him at 165 lbs. http://www.georgehincapie.com/bio/
As for Cav…he can weigh what he wants as long as he keeps posting W’s on his palmares.
I have a magazine written in 1979 that says Wayne Gretzky may be too short, weak and slow to be successful in the NHL.
The pros are held to a different standard than we mere mortals. And for good reason. They are ALL fast, and talented and crazy strong. The slowest guy in the peloton could kick the fastest guy you ride with’s ass. So it’s no wonder it comes down to mere ounces. I guess that’s why even the ones that are considered “big” are still pretty tiny by normal standards.
Again it’s about performance, not fitting into a prom dress. It comes down to a power to weight ratio. Weight is only one part of the equation, and there are exceptions.
Thankfully (or perhaps unfortunately) nobody pays me to win bike races. So I can eat or weigh whatever the hell I want. I am big by pro standards – most of us are – but I am quite comfortable in my skin and happy to be exactly who I am. It makes me sad that so many women (and some men too) are not.
@Terry – George must have caved to peer pressure. The weight I gave of 185 was from his website in July of 2010.
And yes, Cav probably takes great satisfaction in showing his “fat” ass off to an entire peloton as he crosses that finish line first.
Thanks for “weighing in” folks (haha I kill me). Some excellent points.
This is why I love MTB riding and fatbiking…a big stocky guys sport…ounces or pounds for that matter don’t matter that much in a 24 hr event or 6 inches of snow! Or maybe my goals are so I can stay fat and happy?