Time to Commit

I’ve taken a lot of flack over the uncut steering tube on my new bike. If you are as confused as I was about what that is, in simplest terms it’s the part that attaches the fork to the frame, allowing you the luxury of propelling yourself in all manner of different directions other than straight ahead while operating your bicycle. You can see it on this here diagram of an exploded road bike:

With me so far?

If I understand things correctly, which is unlikely, the handlebars attach to the steer tube via the stem, the height of the handlebars being somewhat adjustable using spacers to raise or lower the stem that holds them. I’m oversimplifying of course, because I speak bike about as well as I speak Italian.

Anyway, my handlebars were set at a height that meant there was an unsightly thingy sticking up like so:

It didn’t really bother me so much, but apparently when you have a bike that is worth about the same as a used car, there are different standards at play, and the thingy was attracting unwelcome attention from the cycling establishment. It’s not that this set up is dangerous or incorrect, it merely does not look particularly “Pro” – as in “professional” or the standard to which all we amateur cyclists aspire to, in appearance if not in skill. I guess it’s like having a fuzzy steering wheel cover on a Ferrari.

Correcting this hideous abomination would require cutting my bike. Cutting it. It is very difficult to uncut something once it is cut. Cutting also means a 100% commitment to the bike and its set up, both for you and for anyone to whom you may sell your bike. For all eternity, Amen.

Thankfully my commitment to looking “pro” is unparalleled only by my willingness to commit to this bike, as well as my complete indifference to the guy who’s going to buy it someday after I’ve ridden the shit out of it.

After consulting a number of mohels, the appointment was made and the deed was done.

Is that hot or what? In addition to looking superpro, the bike is also lighter and more aerodynamic! You did a fine job Daniel, thanks for letting me watch. Sorry about the puke on your workstation.

I am 100% committed to my bike and have a swell new piece of jewelry to prove it.