I Felt the Love

When I was in Tucson (did I mention I went to Tucson?) we visited a tri-geek shop full of all manner of lovely trinkets to spend your hard-earned money on, including this little bobble. The Felt F1 SL is an orgasm-inducing hunk of a bike in matte black carbon fiber with sparkling red accents. And at $7k U.S. it’s a total bargoon. I did my best to suck up to the Felt rep who was there peddling (haha) his wares, and even listened patiently as he chatted me up about how he was a mechanic for Lance back in the day. I felt like I was a groupie flirting with a security guard to get backstage. Well my friend, unless you ARE Lance or can introduce me TO Lance, I don’t give a damn if you oiled his chains or bore his children. But that BIKE, ooo la la… maybe we can make a deal here… um, buddy, get out of the way, I’m looking at the BIKE.

I just picked up the latest issue of Bicycling magazine and low and behold, there is my new boyfriend Mr. F1 staring back at me from the cover in all his sexy glory. Never mind the steely jawed bozo they have riding him in the attack pose typical to Bicycling covers (why do they DO that? Aren’t there any other cool bike poses?). The bike review in Bicycling says to “buy this bike if you want a light, fast, great-riding race bike with a smart build”. Duh. Light, fast, smart, great… these are all very good words.

Then the review goes on to say to “forget this bike if you think a threaded bottom bracket and nontapered steerer are old school”. What??! I don’t even know what that means! Is that good or bad? What the hell is a nontapered steerer? Aren’t I the steerer? Apparently I still have a lot to learn about bikes. And if that’s the case I sure as hell shouldn’t be riding one that costs the same as a used car.
It also says that this bike is so light (13.88 pounds) that the Garmin Transitions Team, who almost exclusively ride this frame, have to use frame weights to meet the UCI weight limits. Maybe those Garmin boys should eat a doughnut once in a while. A lot of this bike’s price tag seems to be a result of it’s ridiculously light weight, so maybe I’ll save myself the 7 large and just lose a few pounds.

Ok, so maybe this bike is not the bike for me, despite the pretty red bits and hot matte finish. But we girls always seem to be drawn to the ones that are bad news, more handsome than practical. Maybe Mr. F1 isn’t Mr. Right, but he sure could be Mr. Right Now.